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jenovassouba

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jenovassouba's Journal

Created on 2006-05-14 17:33:52 (#10237016), last updated 2006-12-31

80 comments received, 132 comments posted

Basic Account [Gift]

16 Journal Entries, 21 Tags, 1 Memory, 0 Virtual Gifts, 6 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	Kadaj Jenova
Website:	FHH Summer Camp!

Bio

>> Basics <<
Name: Kadaj Jenova
Age: 17
Sex: Male
Hair: Silver
Eye: Green-blue
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 130 lbs

>> History <<
At the age of 7, Kadaj was raped by one of the housekeepers in his Mother's home, who was unsually, male. It had occured 3 times over the span of 2 months. He never told anyone, not his Mother, not his brothers, no one. He was too ashamed of himself, and was scared that if anyone knew, they would be repuled and disown him-- especially his Mother. He kept quiet about throughout his life, even after the end of the second month when the man was fired.But sometimes at night, he would have nightmares, and crawl, face tear streaked into his older brother's beds. They always welcomed him with the sheets up to let him cuddle up to them. And with time, they grew as used to it as one could get. No matter how many times or how angry his brothers got, Kadaj never mentioned a single word about what had happened to him. Only thing he said was he had a nightmare, and that was all. He could cry himself to sleep most nights, but never cried in front of his Mother. He never let himself look weak in front of her (or at least tried).

His Mother had noticed this extreme change, but never confronted him about it. Instead, she enrolled him in a swordmaship classes at the age of 10. He graduated shortly before going to Final Hearts High with a Master Diploma. He exceeded everyone and practiced with a passion.

But at the age of 12, the crying stopped, and instead was placed with rage and hatred. He broke the things in his room, fought with his brothers over nothing and everything. He stopped talking to them and smiling. He closed himself off to the world, and didn't want anything to know about it. He became(aside from angry all the time), depressed and paraniod. He hated strangers, anyone he didn't know and everyone on the street. He didn't like going out, for a subcounscious fear of meeting his rapist again. He was always close to his Mother, but ever since what happened to him, he's loved her with his whole being, his image of her tranformed her into a god that he almost seemed to worship. And any contact that was sexually related, almost gave him the worst panic attacks. He grew to hate all docters, thinking that they would molest him, and thus never visited them, unless they strapped him down or sedated him. Back to the panic attacks, anything sort of hands wandering on his body caused him to freak out and either burst into murderous rage or black out completely.

When he was 14, he started cutting himself. They weren't wild, thoughtless slashes on his wrist, but neat, clean ones going down his arm. He always avoided his veins, because his intention wasn't that to commit suicide, but just to releive the emotional pain and anger he was drowing in. Because of that, he always wore long sleeved shirts, or jackets. He wasn't worried about heat, because where he was born heat was a luxory that never stayed around for much time.

By 16, the cutting stopped, but he was left with just one large vertical slash down the inside of his arm. Only one, because he always ran over the same spot. As distressed as he was, Kadaj was a neaet person, and didn't want to have hundreds of different scars all over his arm. He thought that looked just unorganized and stupid.

[more to come whenever if I feel like it >>]

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This journal is a updated version and branched off of

cloud_stalker, which is currently inactive because the RP closed. This journal is only for the Rping purposes between Kadaj and Zexion (

zexion18), which is still going on because we love eachother that much. Any logs between us will go on the journals, as with any entries.

Edit:

As from now on (6/17/06), this journal will be used for the epilogue of Final Hearts High; FHH Summer Camp.

Any questions email me at cloudaj@hotmail.com. Wanna join us? Email or IM me, we can talk it over with Shu. ♥

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